One Step at a Time

I've been slacking a lot lately, more failures than normal, and ignoring my blog. But I'm working my way back up to the way I was a few weeks ago. I've even started a new story idea. I think it has a ton of potential. I worked on it a lot yesterday, more than I normally write. I think it's really good, and I'll have to thank Caleb for giving me the idea. Well, actually, it was my idea, but I never would have turned it into this huge new plot if I hadn't met him. :)  So it's all good.

In short, my new story takes place in a parallel universe where an elite group of people, known as the executioners, keep witches and other paranormal beings such as vampires and lycans in their place. They were placed with this civic duty many, many years ago by a good witch who was shocked by the state of the world--it was overrun by witches, vampires, and werewolves who wanted to release the demons. With the aid of the executioners, the world was able to return to it's normal order. However, now someone is talking about releasing the demons again. This witch is one of the strongest in the witch community, and she will stop at nothing to achieve her goals. Late one night, she visits the Benoit household--a family a executioners-- and slaughters all of them. All of them except for their nineteen year old daughter Adrienne. Adrienne is rendered unconcious by the witches--Valerie-'s attack, and when she awakes she notices the house is on fire. But Adrienne doesn'tr remember who, what or where she is. She leaves the house just as it collapses and seeks to discover who she is.

There are still many questions I have about my book such as:

-What does Valerie look like?
-How does she plan on releasing the demons?

The Crow and the Butterfly -Awesome Video

The video for The Crow and the Butterfly is finally out, and I couldn't be more happy. The video definitely fits the song! I love it!

Failure and Research List

I had a failure today. Well, actually it was yesterday since it is nearly 3AM. I don't know what got into me. They say when a women is ovulating, which I obviously have bee recently considering... you know, her libido increases. I witnessed that over the last few days for sure.

----

Anyway, back to business. I need to research the basics of the following

-The art of bar-tending
-Fashion design
-Fairies & Elementals
-Other mythical creatures

fail

Perfect Gun Shots & Failures

Consider me judgmental, but I didn't think Simple Plan would be good live. I don't know why. Pierre Bouvier's voice just didn't seem like it would compare to Ben's or Brent's for some reason. But I was dead wrong. I just listened to an acoustic, live version of their song Perfect and it was amazing. Still, I don't think Pierre is as good as Ben (Ben's voice is just too sexy, and mellow, and amazing even when he's sick as a dog), but it made me want to see them live in person, not just via youtube.

Also, I had the craziest dream last night/this morning. Very intense, very vibrant, almost to the point where I thought it was real, but deep down I think I knew it was a dream.

In my dream, I came downstairs to make something to eat. My mom told me to boil some watermelons and season it with pepper and salt, but not adobo seasoning. She put some other things in the boiling water and watermelons, but I don't remember. Later, as the water started to bubble over, I added some strawberries to the mix. Then I moved it off the burner because my mom told me that it might make the stove blow up.

Then, I put it in a bowl, sat down at the kitchen table and started eating. That was when my little sister came into the kitchen and sat down on one of the barstools with some guy around her age. I heard him ask, "So are you ready for me to ask you out?"

She nodded and they left for the dining room. I don't know what happened, but minutes later, she emerged from the dining room crying her eyes out. I gestured to the laundry room and we walked inside. She told me that our dad had told the boy a bunch of things so that he wouldn't want to date her anymore. Then the guy slapped her, and our dad just laughed. That made me laugh so I grabbed her arm, told her to come on, and I dragged her back into the dining room. 

I asked my dad, "What the H is your problem?" But that just made him laugh, so I chased him around the table, which was covered in red and white placemats and doilies, before turning to the  boy and glaring at him ."You're dead!" I shouted at him, and then I lunged at him, but before I could grab him, I heard a gunshot, I fell forward, and felt blood in my mouth. The gunshot, the blood, and falling all seemed to happen at the same time... as well as an ear-shattering scream. 

And then I woke up. At first, I could barely move, and I was thankful that it was morning and the sun was out, but still, I laid there fore a minute before I went to turn off the TV.

Later, I went to dreammoods.com to figure out what the different objects in my dreams meant. Well, the ones that I could remember well.

Here's what I discovered.

Watermelon: represents love, lust, desire, and fiery passion. Pregnant women and women on the verge of menstrual cycles dream of watermelons because of their bloated bodies.

At this point, I was shocked. This was the second dream I had where one of the symbols in my dream had do deal with menstrual cycles. I can not quite remember the other dream so well, otherwise I would record it here.

Strawberry: Signify sensual desires and temptation and are associated with feminine sexuality.

This was the second symbol in this dream to talk about lust and female sexuality. There was a trend here, and I knew I was on to something, so I typed in the third and final important thing from my dream. Because I never actually saw the gun, and I didn't know who shot me at all, I searched for the term "shot."

Shot: Represents a form of self-punishment that you may be unconsciously imposing on yourself. You may have done something that you are afraid of or are not proud of.

And that was when it hit me.

I was ashamed of my failure the night before. It was one of the most intense one's I've had in awhile, and all day yesterday I kept thinking "I wonder if I'd be in a better mood right now if I hadn't done that last night." 

Until today, I always thought that these dream mood interpretation things were fake, but now I see that they aren't as fake as I thought they were. Either I'm a fool, or by typing in the key objects in my dream, I was able to determine what my unconscious mind was feeling and thinking.

I'm ashamed of what I've done, ashamed that I'm having such a hard time quitting, and ashamed that even as I sit here right now I'm thinking of how great it would be to just give in.

What in the world am I going to do with myself?

Haiku- The Temptations

The  Temptations

I want to give in 

To this sad, lecherous sin
No sunshine today

 16DAYS

Smoke Detectors Can Burn

So, this morning, I woke up and realized I'd forgotten to post a decent post yesterday. Oops, I guess it kind of slipped my mind. What's funny is I remember having such a good topic to talk about, but I forgot. My bad. :)

Anyway, so I decided not to read the Anita Blake book next. Instead, I'm reading Darkfever. I just finished the prologue, and let me say that it was absolutely amazing as far as writing goes. :) As for the story line, I'm not so sure. I'll have to get back to you once I'm more than nine pages in.

Today was okay for the most part. Running on three hours of sleep left me cranky. Why did I only get three hours? Because my smoke detector batteries are running low, and it would not stop beeping. I mean, it's nice to have the occasional reminder that I need to replace the battery, but beeping loudly every five minutes is a little excessive. Especially when it's first thing in the morning. :P I'll live though. Hopefully tonight will run smoother. I don't know if I can take another three hour nap.

Anyway, that's about it for today. I want to post a picture though, just because. :)

 18 DAYS :)

fail

"Alone" by Lisa Gardner

Barely five minutes ago, I finished one of the best books I've ever read in my life--"Alone" by Lisa Gardner. I can honestly say that Lisa Gardner has done it again. Every book I've read by her has been pure joy with a dash of drama, suspense, mystery, and action. Throw in a few recurring characters, intense plots, and amazing characters and you've got yourself the best book ever.

Since I read "Hide" before I read "Alone", the end and identity of the major antagonist did not surprise me. However, that does not mean I was not surprised. Lisa Gardner has a way of doing the exact opposite of what you think she's going to do. And if it's not the exact opposite, then it's something you wouldn't have expected in a million years.

She's also not afraid to delve into issues that other's deem too sensitive for mainstream literature such as incest, rape, domestic violence, cop issues, and pedophilia. And she doesn't just talk about these issues, she takes you into the minds of those involved with each of those issues. Ever want to know how a pedophile thinks? The Burgerman in "Say Goodbye" will let you into his mind. Rape victims? Cathrine Gagnon and many other characters throughout her novels will tell you all about their tragedies and pasts. 

It's very clear that Lisa Gardner conducts a lot of research when planning and writing her various novels. Each one seems like it's based on a true story although she claims that everything is pure fiction. However, according to her site, she does do a lot of research. She calls cops, FBI agents, reads numerous articles about numerous crimes. All of this, although tedious, combined with her extraordinary style of writing leads to a kick-ass novel that'll keep you reading at all hours of the night guessing until the end.

So what exactly is "Alone" about? 

"Alone" follows Bobby Dodge, a state trooper and one of the snipers in the Massachussetts SWAT team, after he kills Cathrine Gagnon's husband Jimmy when he and his unit are called to their brownstone for a domestic dispute. Jimmy is waving a gun at his wife, who's holding their sickly son, and when Bobby feels like Jimmy is about to shoot her, he aims, pulls the trigger, and blows Jimmy's brains out.

You would think that Dodge would be honored as a hero, but Jimmy's rich father accuses him of murder. On top of that, Jimmy's father, Judge James Gagnon, will do anything to get custody of Jimmy's son, Nathan, because he believes that Catherine is abusing her poor, sick son.

And when people surrounding the Gagnon family are murdered, no one quite knows who to blame.

Lisa Gardner explores Dodge's family history, the seductive Catherine's many lovers and tragic past, and one shocking family secret in her epic novel "Alone", making it a must read story. 

I loved this book, and it only made me want to read more of her novels. :) 

Up Next On My Reading List: Circus of the Damned by Laurell K. Hamilton

Averages

I've been doing a little research on the LSAT (unlike the SAT, I would like to be more than prepared). To get into Harvard or Yale Law, it would be best for me to score about a 171. The highest score on the LSAT is a 180. The scores range between 120 and 180, so as you can see, a 171 and damn near perfect. Not only that, but it's structure is similar to the ACT in terms of time. I think each section is about 35 minutes. The sections are:

-Logical Reasoning
- Reading Comprehension
- Analytical Reasoning
-Unscored Section
- Writing Sample

Obviously, I think English can help with the majority of these sections. In fact, in study done a few years back, English majors scored higher than those who majored in Pre-Law. However, their score was about average(average is 151) with just a 155.

But I've always been above average. At least, that's how I see myself. Other people may think I'm one in the same, but I pride myself in going against the grain. That's why I'm going to Dartmouth. It's the Ivy League school that's not quite the same as the other Ivies. People are pompous assholes who's only glory lies in their SAT scores and numerous AP classes. When I visited Dartmouth, people were interested in me. Not my successes, not my failures, and definitely not my scores.

Plus, it's putting me in the position to challenge everything that I believe in and do things I never thought I'd ever do. The first time I step on campus as a '14 and not a prospie, they are going to throw me into the woods, and we'll all go camping. I'll be the first to say that I'm not an outdoor person, but just thinking about my trip has me more than excited.

That's not the only thing. Their summer reading is going to force me to read a book I'd never read on my own, they're going to make me swim, ski, and talk to people I may not have talked to in high school. And finally, they're going to make me study abroad in a country I never would have traveled to on my own.

I'm ready for the challenge, I'm ready for the changes, and I'm excited to see what new things Dartmouth can teach me. Whether I learn to love hiking or realize that I'll always hate swimming, my Dartmouth experience will be above the average college experience, and that's what makes it right for me. I'm not average, the people at Dartmouth are not average, and the Dartmouth experience is in no way average.

Untitled- Simple Plan

I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No, I can't stand the pain

How could this happen to me?
I made my mistakes
Got nowhere to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just want to scream
How could this happen to me?

Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound, but no one hears me
I'm slipping on the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold on to a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No, I can't

How could this happen to me?
I made my mistakes
Got nowhere to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just want to scream
How could this happen to me?

I've made my mistakes
Got nowhere to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?

-"Untitled", Simple Plan

I had to post this song. It reminds me so much of the book I'm reading titled "Alone" by Lisa Gardner. It reminds me of how Bobby Dodge felt during the aftermath of the shooting; the way Catherine Gagnon must have felt when she became the "Thanksgiving Miracle", but deep down she was so shattered, and no one could understand how she felt or what she was going through.

I love this song. :)

Storm Front by Jim Butcher

Storm Front was an amazing novel, and I honestly can not wait to make it to the second book (after I read one of my library books, of course :D). Harry Dresden is the perfect character--strengths, flaws, quirks, and a great back story. No, he doesn't get every girl, but he isn't a depressed emo loner either. He's simply a character. He lives, he breathes, and although he isn't human, I swear he could be real.

The plot was also great. It was full of suspense and action with a tad bit of sexual energy. The perfect adult novel. Is it better than the Anita Blake series? I don't know. I love them both equally. FYI: I recently forgave the Anita Blake series for it's future faults that I have not read yet, and I will still read the books simply because the author is amazing.

I don't really have much of a review for this, but I guess I could summarize it.

Storm Front is about a wizard named Harry Dresden. He works as a private investigator and a regular police consultant when it comes to "unnatural" crimes dealing with demons, wizards, etc. When Harry gets called by his long time friend Murphy to give his opinion on the murder of two lovers--a call girl and a body guard for the leader of the mob, things get ugly. No one but a powerful wizard could have pulled off a murder that brutal, that powerful. And when he realizes that dragging the police into the mix could lead to their death, he holds back information, which makes him one of the prime suspects.

While engaging in intense battle scenes involving demons, scorpions, and angry mobsters, Harry tries to piece together the murders while solving another mystery involving Monica Sells and her mysterious husband who has recently become involved in wizardry.

Storm Front is an excellent start to what promises to be an amazing series, and I can't wait to read the rest of the stories and see what Harry Dresden gets himself into next time.

Next on my list: Alone by Lisa Gardner

Boredom

I am so freaking bored today, which sucks because it is the fourth of July. I have no idea what I want to do. Actually, I do. I want to read, but I know I won't get the opportunity. It's hard to read and fold towels at the same time. Nearly impossible. Being on the computer and reading is completely possible. Being on the computer and folding towels is also possible, but reading? No. Hm, maybe if I opened the ebook on my computer I could. I just have to remember what page I'm on.

More blogging later.

-TLE

2010 Rocks My Socks Off

Two extremes are always better when they meet up. I never understood how that concept could be applied to roleplaying until this week. We sat there, came up with a basic plot that we could follow and made our own characters. We completely winged it, but at the same time we had some direction. That's what writing should be like. That's what roleplaying should be like.

From now on, I have my preference.

--------------------------------------------------------------

And now let's talk about something completely random. Let's talk about... I really don't know. I'll come back to this later! Time to watch Avatar.

-five minutes later, literally-

Okay, I know what I want to talk about now. There's so many things that I want to do this summer. I have a reading list, a list of goals that I want to accomplish, etc. I just know I won't get to all of it. I'm so behind on the books I want to read this summer. I've read very few books this summer. Only two. That's like a record for me, I think.

I want to say I'll work on it, but I know I'll say it and never do it. At least two things are accomplished on my list of goals for the year of 2010. I definitely write everyday now, I've rocked out, and I got my driver's license yesterday.

Actually, I think that would be the whole list just about. There's just one more thing, and I fail at that every two days. I almost failed today, but I wouldn't let myself. I made myself think of something else. I'm working on it though.

Speaking of goals, here are two bands that I want to look up:

-A Day to Remember
-Saosin

Right now I'm in the midst of delving into 10 Years. I really love this band, and I'm so psyched that they'll be at the Shinedown Concert too. Once I'm done with 10 Years, I'll move on to the other bands touring with them--Chevelle, Sevendust, and Puddle of Mudd.

Seems to me like it'll be an awesome concert.
And an awesome summer

Van Nuys - Sixx AM

I don't wanna die out here in the valley
Waiting for my luck to change
And I just want my dad to know
That I finally made it

Everybody gets high
Everbody gets low
Everybody gets bruised
Everybody gets sold

I don't wanna die out here in the valley
You don't have to lie
I know that's what I'll do
I don't want my mom to know that I never loved my life
And I sold my soul

Everybody gets high
Everybody gets low
Everybody gets bruised
Everybody gets sold
Everybody gets dark
Everybody unfolds
Everybody gets high
Everybody gets sold

And everyone's eyes are blue
And everyones mouth is dry
And nobody wants to die
In Van Nuys
Van Nuys

Everybody gets low
Everybody gets bruised
Everybody gets bruised
Everybody gets high
Everybody unfolds
Everybody gets high
Everbody gets sold

Everyone's eyes are blue
And Everyone's mouth is dry
And nobody wants to die
In Van Nuys
Van Nuys

Everyone's eyes are blue
And everyone's mouth is dry
And nobody wants to die
In Van Nuys
Van
Everyone's eyes are blue
And everyone's mouth is dry
And nobody wants to die
In Van Nuys
Ooooh
Everyone's eyes are blue
And everyone's mouth is dry
And nobody wants to die
In Van Nuys
Van Nuys

-"Van Nuys", Six Am

iPod vs Zune

Well, I've decided to add to my summer goal list, which, may I add, I am epically failing at. Actually, I wouldn't say I'm failing at it, but I can do better. Anyway, I'm adding to the Rock Out part of it. I want to get three new CDs from different artists every month. That way I can delve into the rock genre more without having to listen to the radio, which for some reason I just don't like.

And I say all that as a reminder to look into Five Finger Death Punch. I was using my Smart DJ tool, and their song came up, and I just loved it.

Now that that's done. Let's talk about iPods.


All of my friends know how I feel about them. I'd rather have a Zune for the following reasons.

•  The Zune Pass: For $15 a month I can have any song on the marketplace. iPod can't offer me those spects.
• HD: It has HD radio, which I have't used, but the images are also brighter and better.
• Durability: iPods are too fragile. One drop and you need a new one.
• Everyone has an iPod.

It's not that I hate iPods. I just don't want to jump on the bandwagon. Plus, the Zune HD is a better deal for me even though Microsoft doesn't know how to manage it well. For example, they are pulling the Kins off the market even though they were just released two months ago. Their reasoning? No one is buying them. They really didn't give the Kins a fighting chance. They want to put all of their energy into the Windows 7 phone, but if that doesn't sell, I bet they'll pull that off as well.

When I hear things like that, I want to give in and buy an iPod, but I definitely don't want to invest in limewire again. Not when I'm going to Dartmouth and limewire and frostwire are infested with viruses. Also, the Zune gives a much better deal for music.

I am sticking with my HD even if it means I will never own a Mac, which, I'm not going to lie, I would love a mac. Sadly, Windows won't let the Zune software work on that OS. Figures. But I like Windows too, I guess. Macs just look nicer.