I read some of my older blog posts to take my mind off of my bad habit, and I realized I haven't even almost completed any of the goals on my new year's resolution list. Let me refresh your memory.
-Write everyday
-Rock out
-Quit cold turkey.
I've made some progress, I guess, but I'm not where I hoped I would be merely six months ago. I will consider this a reminder of the path I chose for myself at the start of this year, and slowly, I will pave my own road as I go forth.
I've really been slacking on the "write everyday" resolution though. Every day I add "write a short story" to my to do list, and it rarely gets crossed off. If I want to write a novel, then I need to improve my writing/organization skills. That'll never happen if I never write. If I use research and planning as my excuse for not free writing. So as of right now I will change all of that.
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Now that that is taken care of, let's move on to the next thing on my mind: the ex. We broke up the summer before sophomore year, and now I ask, is it weird for him to want me to wear the necklace he gave me? I mean, he's got a new girlfriend--my sister's friend. And sometimes I find myself wishing they'd break up. I know it's wrong, but I can't help it. I regret breaking up with him, and now I want him back. Before, I was too stubborn to do it, but now... I don't know. Sometimes I feel like he still has feelings for me. The necklace, texting me all the time about how he doesn't want me to forget him, etc. He even let me sign his yearbook first. Plus, when we went to the beach, I heard my sister ask him what he wanted in his relationship. He said he didn't know.
That was the day he asked me if he was my first boyfriend.
And the day he asked me to always wear his necklace.
He is confusing me, and I don't like being confused. Although I believe I still have feelings for him, I do not think that I would take him back simply because it would be a long term relationship. Also, I think right now I truly need to be single.
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And the final thing on my mind:
I started a new roleplay last night. It started out fine, but in all honesty, my new partner can't write to save her life. I can tell she doesn't put much effort into her characters because they do whatever my characters do. For example, when I said that my female character stabbed her male character with the fork, she automatically started trying to antagonize my male character. She kept emphasizing that she got in his face. In fact, she's said that like three posts in a row. It's ridiculous.
I need a partner who is creative. Not someone who creates characters with no personally. When it comes to roleplaying, I'll be the first to admit that I am picky which is probably why I only have one ongoing roleplay at the moment, and if I had met her for the first time today, we probably wouldn't be roleplaying either. =/ Maybe. It depends on how much she's changed roleplay wise as well. She has a fair chance. I really love roleplay with her. She creates good characters, thinks of good ideas, and she's fun to talk to about everyday things. =)
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Well, I think that's about it for tonight. I can't really think of anything else I would like to talk about. I hope that this took the urge away. If not, I'll be writing about my failure to hold back immediately after. :P Let's hope that doesn't happen.
-Au Revoir <3
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